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RIVERSIDE RETREAT CATERING MENU

WE WILL BE CLOSED JULY 2nd - 6th. 

HAPPY FOURTH OF JULY AND GOD BLESS AMERICA!


So you're headed to Martindale on the San Marcos River! While our quaint tiny town is absolutely AMAZING, we have little to offer in the way of grocery stores and only a handful of wonderful restaurants, but don't fret! The CULINARY CRIMINAL is here, offering all kinds of deliciousness delivered to your retreat the DAY OF your arrival so you can forego running errands and get your vacation started ASAP! Reheating instructions are emailed to you so they're always accessible, and all of our yummies are served in disposable/recyclable containers to keep clean up a breeze, too. We're sure you'll find something on our menu to whet your whistle, but if you don't, feel free to contact us about our custom catering services, specializing in unique dietary lifestyles and restrictions. 

You can place your orders by CLICKING HERE, calling Chef Fergie at 512.667.3867 or sending your orders by email to [email protected].


ALL RIVER RETREAT CATERING ORDERS MUST BE PLACED AT LEAST 

1 WEEK BEFORE YOUR ARRIVAL - NO EXCEPTIONS.

ORDERING INSTRUCTIONS ARE BELOW THE MENU.

WE ACCEPT VISA & MASTERCARD CREDIT/DEBIT CARD PAYMENTS.


MARTINDALE RIVERSIDE RETREAT MENU

BREAKFAST

These casseroles will feed 6-8 people.

Country Frittata

$30

(ADD BACON OR SAUSAGE FOR $8 MORE)

Sauteed onions, potatoes and bell peppers baked into cheddar infused farm fresh eggs.

ALLERGY INFO: Gluten free, wheat free, nut free, corn free, soy free


 Cinnamon Pecan French Toast Casserole

$25

Torn French bread and candied pecan pieces soaked in our vanilla cinnamon custard, baked to perfection and served with pure maple syrup. Delicious cold or warm!

ALLERGY INFO: Corn free, soy free


Ham & Cheese Strata

$30

Chunks of ham, cheddar and French bread soaked in farm fresh eggs and milk and baked to perfection.

ALLERGY INFO: Nut free, corn free, soy free


Chocolate Peanut Butter Banana Baked Oatmeal

$25 

Old fashioned oats soaked in chocolate custard with peanut butter, bananas and chocolate chips and baked to perfection.

ALLERGY INFO: Gluten free, wheat free, corn free

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GRILLIN'/ROASTIN' FOILED POCKETS

These complete meal foiled pockets can be thrown on the grill or in the oven for your cooking and cleaning convenience. 


Mediterranean Italian Sausage OR Portabella Mushrooms & Peppers w/ Potatoes

$10/sausage; $11/portabella

Italian sausage link OR loose sausage OR thick slices of portabella mushrooms, bell peppers, onions, garlic and sliced potatoes tossed with chopped sun dried tomatoes, olive oil and feta cheese.

ALLERGY INFO: Gluten free, wheat free, soy free, corn free, egg free; vegetarian option


Steakhouse Burgers OR Chicken Breasts OR White Bean Burgers w/ Horseradish Smashed Potatoes

 $11/bean burger; $12/chicken or beef burgers

Grass fed ground beef patties OR pastured chicken breasts OR homemade white bean burgers topped with sauteed mushrooms and onions, drizzled with our homemade steak sauce and served over a bed of creamy, horseradish infused skin-on smashed potatoes.

ALLERGY INFO: Gluten free, wheat free, nut free, corn free


Blackened Pulled Pork OR Jackfruit Stuffed Baked Potatoes

$12

Pastured pulled pork OR jackfruit coated in Cajun blackening seasonings with organic corn kernels, onions, bell peppers and fire roasted tomatoes, then stuffed into large baked potatoes and topped with our lemony scallion sour cream remoulade.

ALLERGY INFO: Gluten free, wheat free, nut free, dairy free, soy free, egg free; vegetarian option

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THE CRIMINAL'S COMFY CASSEROLES 

These homemade comfort food specialties will provide 6 dinner size portions or 8 side dish portions. 


Black Bean Chili 'n Cheese Enchilada Casserole

$30 

(ADD GROUND BEEF OR SHREDDED CHICKEN FOR $10 MORE)

Your choice of fresh flour or corn tortillas layered with Oaxaca cheese and homemade mild black bean chili and topped with a blend of melty cheddar and pepper jack cheeses. 


ALLERGY INFO: Vegetarian, soy free, nut free, egg free; gluten free option


4-Cheese Loaded Macaroni

$30 

(ADD HOUSE CHOPPED HICKORY SMOKED BACON FOR $9 MORE. GLUTEN FREE NOODLES AVAILABLE FOR $12 MORE)

Macaroni noodles tossed in homemade cheddar, pepper jack and Gouda cheese sauce and topped with Parmesan, chopped tomatoes and scallions.


ALLERGY INFO: Vegetarian, soy free, nut free, egg free; gluten free option


Potato Topped Veggie Pot Pie

$30 

(ADD CHICKEN OR GROUND BEEF FOR $12 MORE)

Mushrooms, carrots, onions, sweet peas and celery simmered with an array of herbs in homemade veggie broth and topped with sour cream & chive smashed potatoes.

ALLERGY INFO: Vegetarian, gluten free, nut free, soy free, egg free


Honey Garlic Stir Fry

$30

(ADD CHICKEN OR BEEF STRIPS FOR $12 MORE)

Mushrooms, onions and bell peppers stir fried in our ginger honey garlic sauce, tossed with basmati rice and finished with black and white sesame seeds.

ALLERGY INFO: Gluten free, wheat free, nut free, dairy free, egg free


Loaded BBQ Chicken Breasts OR Pork Chops OR Stuffed Portabella Mushrooms (FEEDS 6)

$30 

(ADD HOUSE CHOPPED HICKORY SMOKED BACON FOR $9 MORE)

Six pastured chicken breasts OR pork chops OR portabella mushrooms coated in our cracked black pepper BBQ sauce, then loaded with shredded cheddar cheese, chopped tomatoes and green onions. Add chopped hickory smoked bacon to make this extra yummy!


ALLERGY INFO: Gluten free, wheat free, nut free, soy free; vegetarian option

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SANDWICH FIXIN'S

Pick your fresh baked sliced breads, deli meats and cheeses, salad pints and condiments. 

Meats and cheeses come by the half pound, which makes 4-5 sandwiches. 

Salads come by the pint and will make 3-4 sandwiches. 

Condiments come in 8oz (1/2 cup) jars. Lettuce and tomato are provided.


BREADS  $6                                                   MEATS                                                              CHEESES

Sourdough                                                          Black Forest Ham $5                                                            Cheddar $5

Multigrain Wheat                                              Applewood Smoked Ham $8                                            Pepper Jack $5

German Rye                                                         Roasted Turkey Breast $8                                                  Havarti $6

Bolillo Buns (12)                                                 Herb Roasted Turkey Breast $9                                      American $5

Croissants (6)                                                       Roast Beef $9                                                                         Swiss $6

Gluten Free Cheese Buns (6)                         Pastrami $9                                                                             Provolone $5


CONDIMENTS  $3

 ​​​Mayo, pesto aioli, horseradish aioli, ranch, yellow mustard, dijon mustard, honey mustard


SALAD PINTS

Cranberry Pecan Chicken Salad

$14

Shredded free range chicken, dried cranberries, pecan pieces, onions and celery in homemade lemon tarragon aioli.


Gram's Pimiento Cheese

$14

Gram's secret award winning recipe!


Farm Fresh Egg Salad

$14

Farm fresh hard boiled eggs, onions, celery, dill pickle relish and parsley in our lemon dill aioli.


Traditional Tuna

$16

Roasted wild caught Ahi tuna, dill pickle relish, onions, celery and hard boiled eggs in our lemon dill aioli.

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SALAD KITS

Salads kits will provide 4 main dish salads or 6 side salads. Add grilled chicken to any salad for $5 more.


Italian Pasta

$25

(GLUTEN FREE NOODLES $8 MORE)

Rotini pasta, baby tomatoes, green onions, black olives, mozzarella tossed in homemade oregano vinaigrette.


Caesar Pasta

$30

(GLUTEN FREE NOODLES $8 MORE)

Bowtie pasta, tomatoes, green onions, sunflower seeds, Parmesan tossed in homemade Caesar dressing.

Criminal's Caesar

$25

Romaine lettuce tossed with baby tomatoes, thinly sliced red onion, Parmesan cheese and sunflower seeds in homemade Caesar dressing.

Traditional Greek

$35

Romaine lettuce, baby tomatoes, bell peppers, red onions, cucumbers, black olives, feta w/ our oregano vinaigrette.


Criminal's Cobb

$35

Romaine lettuce, baby tomatoes, green onions, hard boiled eggs, bacon bits, blue cheese w/ dijon vinaigrette.


Apple & Goat Cheese

$25

Sliced green apples, walnuts, mixed greens, goat cheese w/ homemade balsamic vinaigrette.


Mandarin Almond

$25

Mixed greens, mandarin oranges, green onions, crushed almonds w/ homemade sweet & sour vinaigrette.

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SOUPS

Soups and stews come by the quart and will provide 2 large servings or 4 small servings.


Gram's Chicken Noodle

$25

(GLUTEN FREE NOODLES $8 MORE)

Shredded chicken, carrots, celery, onions and dumpling noodles slow simmered in homemade chicken broth.

ALLERGY INFO: Nut free, dairy free, soy free, corn free, egg free; gluten free option


Broccoli Cheddar

$20

Chopped broccoli simmered in whole cream and veggie broth spiked with sharp cheddar cheese.

ALLERGY INFO: Vegetarian, gluten free, wheat free, nut free, soy free, egg free


Corn & Black Bean Tortilla

$25 

(ADD CHICKEN FOR $8 MORE)

Organic corn, black beans, onions, poblano peppers, garlic simmered in mild chile tomato broth and topped with pepper jack cheese, sour cream and crushed blue corn chips.

ALLERGY INFO: Vegetarian, gluten free, wheat free, nut free, soy free, egg free

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CRIMINALLY CORRUPT PIZZA PIES

The Culinary Criminal's pizza pies are causing corruption all over the County! Why? Because we offer our GLUTEN FREE cheesy crusted pies in a "TAKE-N-BAKE" style so your pizza is fresh and hot right out of the oven! Our super filling, rich, cheesy pizza crust is packed full of protein, using low glycemic, resistant starch instead of wheat flour, and because we don't use wheat flour, our pies are completely gluten free. We offer a variety of styles for you to choose from, or build your own onto our 3-cheese pizza. Get in on the good stuff and treat yaself... don't cheat yaself!


STANDARD PIES

10-inch: $12 (feeds 3-4)

14-inch: $15 (feeds 5-6)

3-CHEESE - Homemade marinara sauce topped with a blend of mozzarella, Parmesan and provolone cheese.

CAPRESI - Homemade herb pesto topped with mozzarella and baby tomatoes. (pesto is made with nuts)

Add Boar's Head pepperoni, Cabernet Italian sausage or hickory smoked bacon for $2 more

Add bell peppers, onions, mushrooms or tomatoes for $1 more


SCANDALOUS PIES

10-inch: $16

14-inch: $20

THE SUPREME BEING: Homemade marinara with a blend of 3 cheeses, Cabernet Italian sausage, blistered onions and mushrooms.

CAROUSING CARNIVORE: Homemade marinara with sliced pepperoni, Cabernet Italian sausage and chopped hickory smoked bacon.

LOVE YOUR MOTHER: Your choice of marinara or pesto with blistered bell peppers, onions, mushrooms and tomatoes.



TO PLACE YOUR ORDER:

1. Go to this website's CONTACT  page.

2. Fill out the form with the requested information, your  desired dishes and click the SUBMIT button. 

PLEASE BE SURE TO INCLUDE THE ADDRESS OF YOUR RIVER HOUSE, NAME OF THE AIRBNB CONTACT AND YOUR ESTIMATED ARRIVAL TIME WITH YOUR ORDER.

3. Chef Fergee will send an invoice with your order confirmation and total to the email address you provided, then call at the time you requested to run your debit/credit card payment (VISA & MASTERCARD ONLY).

4. A receipt and reheating instructions will be emailed to you and your orders will be delivered before your arrival time. We'll also provide a hard copy of the reheating instructions with your orders.